


Interpersonal Relations 367.01

by Jenetica



Category: Community (TV)
Genre: Blow Jobs, F/M, M/M, Multi, Oral Sex, Polyamory, Threesome - F/M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-04-12
Updated: 2014-05-03
Packaged: 2018-01-19 03:11:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1453264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jenetica/pseuds/Jenetica
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She should have known better than to believe herself. She lives with two men that create entire worlds with nothing but their minds. She knows that non-real situations can have very real consequences. But there's a lot of things Annie should have known ahead of time, and this is hardly the worst of them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So fun fact: you think you're full of TV references until you're writing a character that makes said references all the time. Then you realize you can't remember a goddamned thing about shit. Woohoo!
> 
> This is my first Community fic, so be honest and let me know if I did done fucked up. Thanks, lovelies.
> 
> Un-beta'd.

Britta thought working through Abed and Troy's childish antics would be the worst part of the move for Annie.  
  
It's actually Annie's favorite.  
  
"Storm ahead!" she cries out, tugging at an imaginary rope with all her might.  
  
"Take us to port!" Abed calls from the stern, shaking rain out of his eyes. "Ready the aft sails!"  
  
"Captain, the pirates are coming about!" Troy screams over the howl of the wind. "Should I ready the cannons?"  
  
"Get to it!" Abed replies. His brow sets in determination. "Let's show those scalawags the true meaning of the sea."  
  
It takes four cannons and three accidental bumps into the wall before the pirates fall prey to the waves. Troy patches up a hole in the aft hull from where the pirates landed a hit while Annie climbs the sails and reattaches ropes that unknotted themselves during battle. Abed steers them out of the storm, and soon enough they're blinking back bright sunlight.  
  
"Awesome," Troy says, dropping the sailor act. "Lunch?"  
  
"Yes," Annie moans. "Please."  
  
"End simulation," Abed says, and the scene fades to the walls of the Dreamatorium. "Cool. Cool cool cool. Takeout?"  
  
"Delivery," Annie corrects, stretching out her back. "I'm not going anywhere."  
  
"I'll get the menus," Troy chirps. He races out of the Dreamatorium and rifles through the pile of takeout menus they have piled in a kitchen drawer. Annie pulls a bottle of water out of the fridge and gulps half of it. Imaginary marine battles really take it out of you, she's found. Or any imaginary play, actually; who'd have thought that her prime workout moves would include running from aliens and avoiding smashing into the walls?  
  
Let's be real, though. Who'd have ever thought that Annie Edison, stimulant junkie and neurotic control freak, would ever enjoy goofing off with two overgrown children for hours on end, in any capacity? Who'd have thought she'd _live_ with them?  
  
Abed steals the rest of her water, throwing the bottle into the recycling. "What are we getting, Troy?"  
  
And oh, yeah, who'd have thought shy, dorky Annie Edison would ever live with Troy Barnes, the star football player? Oh, if only she could see her fifteen-year-old self now.  
  
Well, she'd probably tell herself to lay off the pills, but whatever. She's mostly happy with how things turned out, in the end.  
  
"I'm thinking either Indian or Thai," Troy says slowly, like this decision requires all of his attention. He can be adorable like that.  
  
"Thai, we had Indian last week," Abed says matter-of-factly.  
  
"I want drunken chicken," Annie declares. "And a shower. Give me ten?"  
  
"The food'll take at least thirty," Abed says, shucking his naval jacket. "Knock yourself out."  
  
Annie goes to her room and takes off her buccaneer's costume, which is basically a white button-down and black pants. She tosses them in the laundry, wraps a towel around herself, and crosses the apartment to the shower. Living with two guys has relaxed her definition of modesty a lot, she muses as she turns on the shower. When she first moved in, she would wear her old clothes into the shower and carry her towel, along with a new outfit, with her. That first two months, Abed and Troy never saw her in less than a t-shirt and sweats.  
  
"Annie, living with men is a slippery slope," her mother warned her. "First it's sharing a living space, next it's sharing venereal diseases. You'll have to watch yourself, bubula." Annie snorts and undoes her ponytail. She doubts Troy and Abed even know what a venereal disease _is_. The worst thing she'll contract from them is a more active imagination.  
  
The mirror starts to fog, indicating her shower is hot. Annie steps into the spray, tilting her head to get her hair wet. She's happy her roommates are the way they are. She doesn't have to deal with girlfriends or awkward sex logistics or anything like that. Hell, they live in a blanket fort. She doubts they even—  
  
Annie blushes and scrubs shampoo through her hair. She has no business thinking about how Troy and Abed, uh, you know, _relieve tension_. That's far too personal for her to contemplate. But, well, now that's she's thought about it… it wouldn't do too much hurt, right? It's all in her mind, anyway.  
  
(She should have known better than to believe herself. She lives with two men that create entire worlds with nothing but their minds. She knows that non-real situations can have very real consequences. But there's a lot of things Annie should have known ahead of time, and this is hardly the worst of them.)  
  
Annie rinses the foam out of her hair. Troy and Abed have shared a living space for, like, a year. They have to have urges, right? But, if they sleep in the same room, how do they—  
  
Annie freezes. She knows one place they don't share, and she's standing in the middle of it. Distantly, she realizes she should be freaking out, at least a little. If she's right, she's probably come into contact with Abed and Troy's, uh, _stuff_ on more than one occasion. That should definitely be cause for a bout of panic.  
  
But it isn't. If anything, Annie's kind of excited about it. The truth of it is, Troy and Abed are men, not boys. They play like boys and they joke like boys, but they're secretly grown-ups. All of them are, even Annie. And the thought that these men come into the shower and do sex things is… wow.  
  
Annie slicks conditioner through her hair and finger-combs it through, then she runs a hand up her calf and decides to shave, even though her stubble isn't too bad yet. She's having a revelation that needs a little more time to steep before she's ready to confront her roommates. Her man roommates.  
  
Now that she thinks about it, their situation is kind of really strange. Annie's only gone all the way once, and that was went she was so pumped up on Adderall she just needed some way to use up energy. It was hardly a memorable experience, and it was one she was hesitant to repeat. And Vaughn had his heart broken by Britta, because they did the sex-first-romance-after thing, so all he wanted was some PG-13 frottage, at the most. Annie was thrilled with that, she was thrilled that she found someone who didn't want her for her body or something equally shallow. Vaughn was amazing, while he lasted. And Annie hasn't really had anyone since, other than a few stolen kisses with Jeff, and that one time with Abed. So yeah, her life is more like a desert than a dry spell. Or whatever the metaphor is.  
  
But Troy and Abed are another story. Troy had his pick of the ladies in high school, and he hasn't fallen off the hotness bandwagon. Shouldn't he have a flavor of the week, or something? And Abed, the romantic enigma who claims that women approach him, but never has a girlfriend. Are they seeing people behind everyone else's backs? Are they, too, going through a dry spell? Are they—  
  
Annie almost drops her towel. Are they pining for each other? It would make sense. They're the best of friends, they share just about everything. Abed pushes Troy to think harder without making him feel inadequate, and Troy worships Abed in spite of his Asperger's. No, not it spite of: including.  
  
Annie wraps a towel around herself. Troy and Abed. Together. Biblically. To be honest, it would be ten different shades of adorable. They hang the moon off each other's stars. They would be a very cute couple. Annie's half-way to mentally planning their wedding reception before she has the sense to stop herself. If there's one thing Annie knows about herself, it's her ability to jump to conclusions.  Maybe Troy and Abed are hot for each other, but maybe they aren't. Last time Annie tried to read other people, she got her heart broken and Jeff got another feather to stuff in his cap. Maybe she should just let this one play out, watching from the sidelines. Yeah. That's fine.  
  
She pulls on a pair of shorts and a tank top and heads into the kitchen. Abed's scrawling something in a notebook and Troy's playing a game on his cellphone, but both look up when she walks in.  
  
"Hey," Abed says amicably. "The deliveryman said it would be twenty minutes, which means he should be—" someone knocks on the door and Abed perks up, "—here. Cool. Cool cool cool."  
  
"I'll get it," Troy says, pulling out his wallet. "Last time you answered the door, you got into an argument and our food got cold."  
  
Abed raises a finger. "His fault; his t-shirt indicated that the sixth Inspector was the best, when everyone knows it was the third. Arguably the fifth."  
  
"Whatever," Troy says, rolling his eyes affectionately. Annie gets herself a can of soda while he pays the deliveryman and accepts their food. She mentally adds "Playful Banter" to her list of couple-y things Troy and Abed do. She's not planning anything, she swears, but seriously. A- _dor_ -able.  
  
The three roommates settle around the TV with their takeout boxes and melt into the sofa. It took a while for Abed and Troy to give up their armchairs, but Annie pointed out that it was unfair for two of three roommates to have comfortable seating, and boom: sofa. A nice sofa, too. Only two mysterious stains on this bad boy.  
  
Gross. She's eating.  
  
Abed puts on a Cougartown rerun and they sit back to feast. Annie's between Troy and Abed, as usual, but she never really noticed before how she could feel the warmth of them on either side of her. Every so often, Abed jostles her with his elbow or Troy shifts his knee against hers. It's comfortable.  
  
And also a little uncomfortable, in a special way that has Annie itching for more. Her shower made her realize that, orientation aside, she's sitting between two sexually viable young men. Attractive, sexually viable young men, if Annie says so herself. Troy has a youthful charm about him that, combined with his muscular physique, makes him one hell of a catch. And Abed's got a sort of quirky edge, all bottomless eyes and inflectionless words, that make him mysterious in a sexy way. Annie has no idea what kind of lover Abed would be— dominating and knowledgable, distant and cool, inexperienced and awkward— and that's appealing as hell.  
  
Annie takes another bite of her drunken chicken and wonders, not for the first time, what the hell she's gotten herself into. Attracted to _both_ of her roommates? At once? Annie can't think of a single way that could end well.  
  
Unless— well, that's just silly. Of course they couldn't, you know, be a thing. Together. The three of them. No way, that's just dumb. Annie takes a sip of water and pretends that it flushes away her thoughts as well as the burning spice on her tongue. (It works for neither.)  
  
Abed and Troy, affectionately known as ravenous pits for foodstuffs, finish their meals in the time it takes her to get through half of hers, then they split a package of cookies Annie distinctly remembers telling them were hers. Oh well, she can always buy more.  
  
Evening time follows the same pattern most nights: Annie curls up on the floor, surrounded by her notes and homework, Troy goofs around on his phone and sometimes (rarely) sits next to Annie to work, and Abed works studiously over a notebook that could be filled with plot ideas, screenplays, or observations about the study group. Annie doesn't ask; she figures she probably doesn't want to know the answer.  
  
Tonight is not most nights, however. After dinner, Abed throws away the empty containers and comes back to the couch with a carefully wrapped box.  
  
"What's this?" Annie asks as he places it in her lap.  
  
"Our three-month!" Troy says, beaming. "You moved in three months ago today."  
  
"Wow," Annie gasps. "I didn't even remember. How—?"  
  
"I keep a careful calendar of notable events," Abed replies. "It allows me to construct a timeline of causal relationships between one event and the next. I have trouble understanding social cues, appropriate reactions; the calendar helps me understand them."  
  
"Right," Annie says softly. She tends to forget, most of the time, how much Abed works to fit in with the rest of society. After living with him for a while (three months on the dot, apparently), she wonders why he tries so hard. "Abed, you know you don't need to change for us, right?"  
  
"I know," Abed says, shrugging slightly. "I'm happy with who I am. But it's good for me to know when my pop culture references would be unappreciated. Open your present."  
  
"Yeah, it took us days to figure out what to get you," Troy says.  
  
Annie peels back the paper and opens the box. Inside is a rectangular device that looks faintly like a Kindle.  
  
"It's a digital planner," Troy explains, "Abed found it online. It syncs up with Facebook, your phone, whatever, and keeps track of all the events you have planned."  
  
Annie touches the glossy screen, overwhelmed. The daily planner she's been using is full of paperclips and post-its because there's never enough space in the days to fill in everything she needs to do. "Guys," she whispers, fighting back tears, "guys, it's perfect."  
  
And it is, because this is what she loves about her boys: they're considerate. They pay attention to her feelings and needs, they keep quiet about her triggers and speak up for her when no one else will. They love to play, but they don't mess around with her. She's important to them, and they've made that clear from day one. She's never felt more special.  
  
"Please don't cry," Abed says quickly. "I don't handle emotional outbursts well."  
  
Annie laughs and scrubs at her cheeks. "Right. No crying. Got it." She turns on the planner, blinking against the bright glow. But then she can't help but shed a shocked tear or two: the days are already filled in, up through what looks like the end of the semester.  
  
"We stole your planner and filled in as much as we could," Troy says, sounding vaguely guilty. It takes Annie a moment to realize why, that it's an invasion of privacy and she should probably feel a little violated.  
  
Fuck that, though. She hasn't tried to hide anything from Troy and Abed in a long time. Well, except for the drawer of special electronics in her dresser, but that discovery will scar them more than it'll scar her, anyway. "You guys are amazing. Seriously. This is amazing. I don't even know how to respond."  
  
Abed lights up. "I have a guide for that!" He rushes to his room and comes back a moment later with a thick black notebook. He flips through the pages quickly, making a small noise when he finds the right page. "'Accepting gifts and compliments,'" he reads aloud, "'Step one, thank the gifter. Step two, tell the gifter all the ways you will use said present (ignore this step if compliment). If the present is irrelevant to you, make up a vague yet plausible story for how the present will be used. Step three, in most situations, the gifter will expect a return on the gift. For a compliment, give the person a slightly less potent compliment (preferably in another field) and change the subject. If the present—'"  
  
"I get the gist of it," Annie cuts him off. "Guys, I didn't get anything for you, though."  
  
"You keep our apartment clean."  
  
"You tell us what our homework is and when it's due."  
  
"You stick up for us when Pierce or Jeff says something rude."  
  
"You join us in the Dreamatorium."  
  
"You don't make fun of us."  
  
"You've given us a lot," Abed says. "Just nothing tangible. We appreciate it."  
  
"Guys," Annie whines, standing. "You're the best." She hugs Troy tightly, then Abed, feeling full to the brim with happiness. "You know, I was kind of terrified to move in with you. I wasn't sure my personality would work with your personalities, but this has been the best decision I've ever made. I love living here. I love spending time with you guys. I lo—" she stops herself from saying words that she's not sure she's prepared to handle, given her recent discovery. "I love us."  
  
And yeah, that works, too.  
  
That night, when Annie's curled up in bed, she can't help but remember how it felt to be pressed up against Troy and Abed, how warm and alive they felt between her arms, how grateful she is to have such magnificent people in her life. She's never slept better.

* * *

Annie would love to say that she quickly forgets about her strange feelings for both of her roommates. She would love to say that she gets swept up in schoolwork and loses interest in romance, or that she meets some dashing co-ed that falls in love with her instantly, or that Troy and Abed lost her interest rather easily.  
  
She can't say any of those things.  
  
If anything else, her feelings have gotten stronger and more complex. Now she actively looks at Troy's ass and Abed's delicate shoulders. She purposefully spreads herself out of the couch so her head is resting on one of them and her feet on the other. She says things in study group that accentuate how much time the three of them spend together, just to hear how Troy and Abed will react. She'd feel ridiculous if it wasn't so damn fun.  
  
And she thinks she's hiding it pretty well. Mostly. Kind of. To be frank, though, it's not a massive surprise when Abed confronts her, though it is perhaps an uncomfortable one. Troy's in the shower and will be for the next twenty or so minutes, meaning Abed must have planned this strategically.  
  
"We need to talk about your feelings for me and Troy," he announces. He's watching some obscure sitcom while Annie scrubs hardened noodles out of a saucepan.  
  
"What?" she asks, fumbling with the pan a little.  
  
"Don't play coy, you can't hide from me," Abed says in that flat way of his. He raises a finger and points it at her. "For the past two weeks you've been making excuses to touch us and point out our relationship to the group. You're acting like Ensign Harry Kim when he first meets Seven of Nine."  
  
Annie winces because A) she actually catches that reference, and B) it's not a nice one to catch. "I'm that transparent?"  
  
"Probably not to most people." Abed turns his head back to the TV. "I see more than most. Everyone's too wrapped up in themselves to notice others."  
  
"Oh." Annie flushes hot with shame. "Well, message received. I won't do it again."  
  
"I didn't ask for that," Abed says, standing. He walks into the kitchen and stands directly in front of Annie, so she has to look up into his eyes. "But I do want to know what your expectations are."  
  
"My… expectations?" Annie asks faintly.  
  
"Yes, of us. Are you attracted to one of us, both of us, or the close friendship between us? Are you looking for a relationship or just sex? Are you—"  
  
"Well, for one, I'm a little overwhelmed," Annie says. Her face has never felt hotter. "Pro tip: when you're asking sex questions, especially ones that directly pertain to you, try taking them one at a time. Slowly."  
  
"Alright," Abed says affably. Annie wonders (because she's a masochist) what it would take for him to get as flustered as she feels right now. She thinks maybe it would take Troy and her both to get him there, in the dirtiest of ways. "First question, then. To whom are you attracted?"  
  
"We're really doing this?" Annie checks. "You really want to know the truth."  
  
"Come on, Annie," Abed says. "It's me. This is hardly the most embarrassing observation I've made about you, and you're hardly the most embarrassing person in our group. If I'm uncomfortable or you're uncomfortable, we'll stop and never mention it again. But this tension is the kind of thing that can build over seasons. It either fizzles out into reluctant friendship or explodes into third act drama. I'm interested in neither of those things, so I repeat: to whom are you attracted?"  
  
Annie blinks rapidly. "Uh, both of you." She thinks of the easy curl of Troy's smile, the dextrous length of Abed's fingers. "Yeah, both of you."  
  
Abed shifts, and Annie can't tell if it's in a pleased way or in an awkward way. She chooses to believe the former, else she won't get through this conversation alive. "Next, what kind of relationship do you intend to pursue?"  
  
"Well, to be clear, I wasn't planning on pursuing anything." Abed frowns at her and Annie sighs. "But I don't want anything to change a lot. I like us. I like the way we live. I don't want to change that."  
  
Abed's eyes soften and his lips tilt, and that's just about a full-blown grin on anyone else. "I like us, too," he says quietly. "But obviously you want more than what we have now."  
  
"Yes, okay, yes, I'm attracted to you guys," Annie huffs. "Do you know how long I've lived with a stick up my butt? I'm always the one in charge, always the one that does all the work in group projects, always the one who goes home with stress knots in her shoulders. But here I can relax. I choose to take care of things, but I'm not forced to. You guys don't expect a lot of me, and that's liberating."  
  
"So you like us because we're low maintenance," Abed says, tilting his head to the side.  
  
"No." Annie runs a hand through her hair. "No, it's more than that. It's complicated. You guys are, well, you're beautiful. You've got these hands and your eyes and you're so astute, and Troy's got muscles and innocence and great lips, and together you guys are like this tag team of bromance, and it's all so _beautiful_."  
  
Wow. She was not prepared for any of those words to come out of her mouth. But now that they're out there, she doesn't regret them. They're true.  
  
Abed's gaze has turned inward, like he's computing something. He's beautiful like this, too, when he's so caught up in his mind he can't be bothered with reality. "I can work with that."  
  
It's not the answer she's expecting, and she's not even sure if it's an answer she wants. "Meaning…?"  
  
"Meaning I think you're beautiful, too. I didn't know anyone else saw that about people. They're beautiful, you know, all of them. I know all of you think I regard people with disinterest, and that's why I watch TV shows and movies instead of spending time with people. But it's the opposite: I love people. I watch TV because it's easier for me to pick up on what people like, how they think."  
  
The water shuts off in the bathroom, and Annie blinks out of the trance she'd fallen into. Is that how Abed sees people? That's amazing. But in the meanwhile, "What do we tell Troy?"  
  
"I can take care of Troy," Abed says decisively.  
  
Annie lets out an uneven breath. "So this is really happening, then."  
  
"Yeah," Abed says, smiling briefly. Annie's pretty sure it's to calm her nerves, but it just makes her more anxious. "I expect it'll take a few episodes to get everything figured out. Romances that blossom in one episode tend to fizzle out by the end of the season. No, we want a Slow Build, like Hermione and Ron or Gene and Ras in Paranatural."  
  
"To make it last," Annie says, because she's having trouble making sense of how very real this got so very quickly. "To make _us_ last."  
  
"Of course," Abed replies. "I dislike trysts, Annie. They're hollow and pointless. They rarely build character, and they usually end up causing conflict."  
  
"I dislike them, too," she says, just to find common ground. "No, yeah, I agree completely. Take your time."  
  
"Cool," Abed says. He pauses for a moment in indecision, then bends down and presses a kiss to her cheek. It's warm and fleeting, and Annie feels it spread all the way down to her toes. "Cool cool cool." He turns and strides off into the blanket fort, just as Troy comes out of the shower, towel slung low across his hips and dripping water.  
  
"Cool cool cool," Annie repeats weakly. What the fuck has she gotten herself into?

* * *

It takes three weeks— three episodes, as Abed will later tell her— for anything to really happen. She has faith in Abed, she does, but subtlety's never been his strong suit, and she's kind of amazed it took this long for him to act.  
  
The events are these:  
  
Annie gets out of Economics five minutes earlier than the rest of the study group gets out of their classes, so she always nabs a table in the cafeteria before the lunch crowd descends. Abed slides into the booth across from her not thirty seconds later, which means he must have skipped the last few minutes of his Angles and Zoom class. "Hello, Abed."  
  
"Troy is primed and ready for action," Abed says lowly, so out of character that Annie thinks he may be shrouded in one of his beloved characters. Eames, perhaps? Or Arthur? Wait, which one does the initial confrontation? That was Cobb, wasn't it?  
  
Annie shakes her head to clear it. "Wait, what?"  
  
Abed rolls his eyes, and now Annie knows he's slipped into a character, because Abed doesn't do that. "I've been talking to Troy about you since we had our talk. Making him notice things about you, admire your good qualities from afar. I'm ninety-four percent sure he's ready for a confrontation scene. I was thinking tonight, after Bloodlines of Conquest."  
  
"Tonight. You want to suggest a polyamorous relationship between three roommates—" whew, that's massive to say aloud "—to a _Jehovah's Witness_ in one night, just like that?"  
  
"Troy is far more than his religion," Abed chastises, "but you have a point. I hadn't considered how he would handle my involvement."  
  
"Abed," Annie says, just realizing something, "you do want this, right? I mean, I know you've been pretty gung-ho so far, but… you don't have to do this for me, _or_ Troy. You get that, right? Your body is your own to do with as you please. I don't want this if you don't want it."  
  
Abed eyes melt with affection. "I know, Annie. I want this, too. I want you guys to be happy, and I want to be a part of what makes you happy. Thanks, though. People don't think of my needs a lot."  
  
"I will," Annie says confidently. "I mean, I do. Always. Okay?"  
  
"Okay," Abed says. "So tonight good?"  
  
"Yeah, tonight's good," Annie says, letting out a shaky sigh. "Tonight… tonight's fine. Wow, this is really happening."  
  
"Hello, An-nie!" Shirley sits delicately on the seat next to Annie and gives her a bright smile. "Abed, what are you two talking about?"  
  
Abed straightens his spine. "Tonight we're—"  
  
"Watching Bloodlines of Conquest!" Annie finishes before Abed can spill their incredibly un-Christian secret. "It's a new episode tonight."  
  
"Yeah," Abed says without missing a beat. "Britta may have spilled the big ending, but there's still another few seasons worth of material to get through until then. Should be fun."  
  
"That sounds nice," Shirley says sweetly. Annie beams at her.  
  
"Hey guys," Jeff greets, sliding in next to Abed. "What's on the menu? Brown sludge or beige sludge?"  
  
"It's something orange," Britta replies, sliding in on the other side of Annie. "I don't trust it. I'm getting the pizza."  
  
"That pizza has enough grease on it to turn Brad Pitt into Steve Buscemi," Jeff retorts.  
  
"At least I know what the grease is, though."  
  
"Hey, everyone," Troy says, sliding in next to Abed. "You guys see lunch today? It's orange. What kind of entree is orange?"  
  
Annie freezes despite herself, even though she saw Troy just two hours ago, and Abed kicks her under the table. "Right?" She laughs and it sounds false even to her own ears. "Geez, Greendale, what's next, blue vegetables?" Everyone stares at her. It's awful, so she makes up a lie on the spot. "Sorry, I just got weird news. My Econ class is taking a trip to the zoo—" and fuck, that's the best she could come up with? "—and I'm still trying to figure out if I'm still in third grade or if the zoo has something to do with economics."  
  
"Zoos are an inhumane institution akin to freak shows and old school insane asylums," Britta says angrily. The entire group groans, and Annie's off the hook. Thank God.  
  
"Stop while you're ahead and let us enjoy our lunch," Jeff drawls. Britta shuts her mouth with a click and stands.  
  
"Whatever," she growls. "See what happens when the elephants die out because they've all gone to zoos." She stomps off toward the pizza line.  
  
Everyone absorbs that for a second before Troy speaks up. "Was that supposed to make sense? I thought zoos protected animals from extinction?"  
  
"They do," Annie says, patting him on the hand. "Britta's just angry because her latest boyfriend is surprisingly bad at sex. She told me about it in the bathroom before British Lit."  
  
Troy's hand turns under hers, until they're palm-to-palm. Annie feels heat travel all the way up her arm and, judging by the way his breath hitches, Troy feels it, too. Luckily the rest of the group has peeled away to get lunch, so no one sees the red that curls up her neck. "Thanks, Annie."  
  
"N-no problem," she stammers. She jabs her other thumb over her shoulder. "I'm gonna go get lunch."  
  
"Me too," he says with a strange frown. It flits across his face to be replaced with a forced smile. "Race you to the line?"  
  
Annie's heart picks up, and she barely restrains herself from asking what's wrong. "You're on."  
  
Troy wins, but Annie's pretty sure she won something, too. Something far, far better than mystery meat in a neon sauce.  
  
The night comes before Annie knows it, and there she is, sitting  between Troy and Abed, watching a topless woman kill about a thousand men with three dragons. Annie only wishes she could be so in command of herself. Or as confident in her boobs. Either or, really.  
  
The credits roll, and so does Annie's stomach. This is it. She mutes the TV and turns to Troy.  
  
"Troy," she says, tangling her fingers together in her lap. "There's something I need to talk to you about."  
  
"I know," he says, sounding muted. "I figured it out a few days ago."  
  
Annie falters at his tone. "I was hoping you'd be, uh, a little less upset about it?"  
  
"My two roommates are shacking up behind my back," he replies, voice hard. "How am I supposed to feel?"  
  
"We— what?"  
  
"Ohhh," Abed says. "Oh, I did this badly."  
  
"Did what badly?" Annie demands, spinning to face him. He leans back in his spot, eyes bright.  
  
"Nope, you guys sort this one out. This is great research."  
  
"Thanks," Troy replies in that same dull voice. "Happy to help, I guess."  
  
"Troy," Annie says, turning back to face him, "Troy, Abed and I aren't doing anything behind your back."  
  
"Please, I'm not stupid," Troy snorts, and it's the darkest thing Annie's ever heard from him, ever. It makes her chest ache. "Abed's been waxing poetic about you for weeks. I thought it was a one-sided thing until I saw the way you two were talking in the cafeteria. The way you looked at each other."  
  
Annie sighs, and it hollows all the way down to her knees. "I don't think you're stupid, Troy. I never have. But if you jump to conclusions now, you'll never know the true story. Can we talk?"  
  
Troy shrugs. "Whatever. I've got nothing better to do."  
  
"Abed and I aren't doing anything behind your back, Troy. We wouldn't do that. But we have been talking. I… Abed, you think you could help a little?"  
  
"Annie wants to 'shack up' with both of us," Abed says without preamble. "We were trying to figure out how best to ask you about it." Annie turns to him and gapes, because really? And he just huffs a little and goes, "This was getting boring. You subverted the trope too well. I'd be upset if I wasn't so proud. At this point, it's best to just get it over with."  
  
Troy blinks, licks his lips, blinks again. "Repeat that, please?"  
  
"Annie was touching both of us with more frequency, I confronted her about it, and she confessed that she's been fantasizing about us. Both of us."  
  
"I confessed that I was _attracted_ to both of you," Annie corrects. "Geez, way to make me sound even more skeezy than I already am."  
  
"Be kind, rewind." Troy turns in his spot so he can face both of them directly. "Are you saying what I think you're saying?"  
  
"She wants us to be in a polyamorous relationship," Abed explains briskly. "Me and you and her, all together."  
  
"Like, _together_ together?" Troy looks like he's having an aneurism, and Annie hates herself for almost laughing.  
  
"That'll probably be a part of it, yeah." Abed straightens the front of his hoodie. "I'm assuming you need time to process this. Should we take a break, reconvene in an hour or so?"  
  
"No, hold on," Troy says, holding up a hand. "I need to wrap my head around this, first. So, you guys aren't a thing?"  
  
"Uh, well, that'll be a part of it, yeah," Annie says, unsure if that's the answer Troy needs right now. "The other part would be you and me being a thing."  
  
"Right," Troy says. "What about me and Abed?"  
  
"Is that something you want?" Abed asks. He shifts behind Annie,  and she feels like a massive idiot. How had she not considered completing this actual triangle of love? (Let's be real, the love triangles of movies are awkward angles with lines going every which way. No triangles are involved.) How could she have neglected to consider Troy and Abed's relationship? They were best friends, after all, and she had their reception flowers all picked out a month and a half ago.  
  
"I'd, uh," Troy clears his throat, "I'd be willing to try it."  
  
Abed relaxes behind Annie, and she hadn't even realized he was tense. "Cool. Cool cool cool."  
  
"So, that's something you're okay with?" Troy asks. "Really?"  
  
"I find traditional orientations limiting," Abed says. "Gay, straight, it's all labels. Just like 'autistic' and 'handicapped.' I'm a person, you're a person, Annie's a person. That's all there is to it."  
  
Annie turns around and gives Abed the biggest grin she's given anyone in her entire life. "Abed, you're the best person I know. I don't tell you that enough."  
  
"Oh," Troy says behind them. "I think I get it now."  
  
"Good," Annie says, not looking away from Abed, "because that'll make this a lot easier to handle." Before she loses her nerve, she leans forward and presses her lips to Abed's. He's soft and warm beneath her, and his lips are surprisingly well-moisturized. It takes a second for him to respond, but his hand reaches up to cup her jaw before she breaks away. It's wonderful. He tilts her head just to the side and moves his lips against her, a dry rasp. Annie wants to open her mouth so she does, feeling along the seam of Abed's lips with the point of her tongue. Abed inhales and opens beneath her, licking along her teeth in a way that makes a spike of desire curl low in her stomach.  
  
A small sound pulls them apart, albeit reluctantly. Troy looks torn somewhere between devastated and turned on, and somehow it works. Annie takes a breath to center herself (she can feel Abed behind her and wants to fall back into his arms and never leave). "Can I kiss you now?"  
  
"I am so confused," Troy confesses, and Annie takes that for a yes. Kissing Troy is different, he's firm where Abed was pliable, chapped where Abed was smooth. It practically sets Annie on fire. Troy's hand clasp around her waist, tentative and curious, and Annie smiles against him.  
  
"So, you in?" she asks, shifting herself so one of Troy's hands slides up to the side of her breast. His breath catches and he stares at where his hand is almost cupping her.  
  
"Hold on," he says. "Abed, I said I'd try it, get over here." Abed slides off the couch smoothly and drops to his knees in front of Troy. Troy takes a breath and removes his hands from Annie, turning to face his best friend. "No matter what, we're brothers, right?"  
  
"Definitely." They do their special handshake, and Troy surges forward to kiss Abed. It's incredible to see them kissing, like one of Annie's dirtiest daydreams, only better. There's give and take in this kiss, friendship and sharing in equal measure. Abed  opens his mouth first, but Troy ends up being the one with two tongues in his mouth.  
  
It's like real-life porn, and Annie's realizing just how awesome this set-up is. (Spoiler Alert: it's really fucking awesome.)  
  
Abed and Troy break apart simultaneously; they both look winded. Annie's never seen Abed look anything but calmly composed up to this point; it's like watching a painting come to life. Troy, too, looks shaken to the core, in the best of ways.  
  
"I'm in," he says abruptly. "Sweet baby Jesus, am I in."  
  
"Cool," Abed says, "cool cool cool."  
  
But Annie is feeling hot, hot hot hot. "So," she says, "we either need to call it a night now or take off all our clothes."  
  
Troy makes a noise like a dying whale. "I'm going for the second."  
  
Abed shakes his head, looking rueful. "If we do this now, there will be no anticipation, no sense of suspense. We need to build slowly to physical intimacy. That's how all the best romcoms play out."  
  
Annie wants to snarl at him that this isn't a romcom, that she's seriously aching between her legs, but a small part of her knows that he's right. If they have sex now, they'll be done, climactically speaking. (Hah.) There will be no great climb to conquer, no sweet desire to revel in. They should wait.  
  
"Abed's right," she sighs. "Besides, we should probably figure this out, anyway. We don't want to pull a Britta and Jeff and leap into bed without figuring ourselves out first."  
  
Troy and Abed wrinkle their noses and mutter "Britta" and "Jeff" simultaneously. Annie's face splits into a grin because, yeah, who wants to be like those two knuckle-heads?  
  
They retreat to their separate rooms (well, Annie retreats to hers, and Troy and Abed slink into their blanket fort) and go to bed, no further ado necessary. It takes Annie all of two minutes to decide that no way is she going to sleep with this ache between her legs. She thinks of Troy and Abed as she rubs herself, Abed's smooth skin and Troy's tentative touch to her waist. The image of the two of them kissing, together, tan skin against brown, makes her come more quickly than she ever has before, and she has to fight to stifle her moan. She hears one of the bunk beds shift and prays that they didn't hear her.  
  
She wakes the next morning feeling well-rested and content. She decides to take a shower before breakfast, so she wraps herself in a towel and walks to the bathroom.  
  
When she comes out ten minutes later, Abed and Troy are waiting for her, still in their pajamas.  
  
"You're not being very fair," Abed says lowly, playing some sort of character. Annie hopes it's Don Draper, because she _loves_ his Don Draper.  
  
"How's that?" Annie asks. She feels the cool slide of a water droplet run down her neck and sees Troy watching avidly. It somehow makes her more self-conscious and more confident at the same time.  
  
"First last night," Troy says—growls, really, "it would have taken a deaf person not to hear you Annie, and now this."  
  
"This what?"  
  
Troy steps in close so that Annie's forced to take a step back, against the wall. He crowds into her personal space and runs a finger down the path of the water droplet, causing her to shiver. "This, Annie. You're _dripping_."  
  
Annie thinks, before she can stop herself, that another five minutes of this and she'll be dripping in more ways than one. Her blush must speak for her, because Troy inhales deeply and leans closer.  
  
"Abed," he croaks, "you, too." Abed steps up right behind Troy and rests his hands on Troy's hips, and god, they look like they're meant to be there. Annie clutches at the top of her towel, doubtful her modesty will make it through this encounter. Troy leans back against Abed for a moment and they share one of their I'm-having-a-conversation-with-my-eyes looks. Troy sighs and steps back, into Abed but away from Annie. "Right, we're taking our time. I can do that."  
  
Annie shivers, caught somewhere between cold and all too warm. "That makes one of us," she sighs.  
  
Abed detaches himself from Troy's back and shoos Annie to her room. "Get dressed," he orders, "I'll make breakfast."  
  
It turns out, transitioning from close friendship to something more is easier than Annie had expected. They have breakfast, they go to school and pretend nothing's changed, they come home and relax. It's almost effortless.  
  
Almost. There are moments dispersed between those stretches of relaxed companionship that make Annie's blood pound and her hormones surge. Moments like the time there was an uncomfortably explicit scene in Bloodlines of Conquest that resulted in the three of them tangled together on the sofa, all roving hands and broken gasps. Or the time in the Dreamatorium when Abed saved the day so spectacularly that Annie couldn't help but lunge at him, dragging Troy along with her. Those moments were secretly Annie's favorite.  
  
Nothing can prepare her, though, for finding Troy and Abed spread over Abed's bunk, shirtless and arching into each other. They haven't discussed coupling off yet—  
they've been too busy controlling their libidos for long enough to make the romance work—but Annie's surprisingly fine with it. If anything, she's upset only that the boys have gone shirtless and she hasn't, yet.  
  
Well, no time like the present. Annie strips off her cardigan and camisole and clears her throat. Troy and Abed break apart, looking at her like a pair of deer in the headlights. She puts a hand on her hip and raises an eyebrow. "Mind if I join?"  
  
Abed pulls away from Troy, cheeks flushed pink. "Not at all." Annie marvels at how even his voice is, even now, and remembers all those weeks ago when she questioned how much it would take for him to lose control. She'll ask Troy, one day, and they'll hatch a plan to blow Abed's mind. For now, though, she's content to pull Troy to the blanketed floor so she can straddle him. It puts their hips in direct contact and they both moan. Troy's hard beneath her, and Annie knows it won't take her much to start growing wet. She's been strung out enough as it is.  
  
She leans down on the elbows and kisses Troy, loving the swing of her lace-clad breasts against his chest. He grabs at her waist, rubbing circles into her skin with his thumbs. It's enough to drive her wild. Annie breaks away and tugs Abed to her, pressing an open-mouthed kiss to the base of neck, climbing up until she reaches his lips. He's warm and puffy from kissing Troy. His hands dance along the straps of Annie's bra until she makes an impatient noise and undoes the clasp, freeing her chest. Troy shudders and curls himself up until he's sitting with Annie in his lap. He ducks his head and sucks a nipple into his mouth, laving over it with his tongue. Abed inhales sharply and raises a eyebrow in question. Annie nods, grabs him by the hair and pulls at him until he's joined Troy, and they're both mouthing at her. She looks down at them and feels desire swarm within. This is undoubtedly the hottest thing she will ever experience.  
  
Her hips work against Troy, seeking any friction they can find, until Troy pulls away from her, breathing harshly. His eyes are blown wide with lust.  
  
"Can we consider this relationship established?" he asks Abed, voice sounding like gravel.  
  
"Yes," Abed replies, sounding just as wrecked. "I think we're ready for phase two."  
  
Troy scrabbles at Annie's shorts, shoving at the fabric until she stands and pulls them off, underwear following a moment later. She has a second of disconnect because _holy fuck_ , she's naked in front of her roommates. This is it. She feels exposed, vulnerable until Abed presses a kiss to the front of her thigh, looking up at her with his bottomless eyes, and Annie's okay. She's okay with this. They'll survive whatever happens here, and it'll be okay.  
  
Troy yanks off his pants and they get caught around his ankles, so he kicks at them until he's free and can stand. "You're so beautiful," he says, drawing near to Annie so she can feel his heat against her front. "I wish I'd figured it out years ago."  
  
Somewhere deep in her heart, seventeen-year-old Annie screeches and melts away, like a ghost whose wrongs have been righted. That part of her is at peace now. Annie wraps her arms around Troy and hugs him, ignoring his erection and her slick for a second, because this is important. This is a moment of transition.  
  
Abed stands and presses in behind Annie, skating soft fingers down her sides. It's a reassurance, she knows, but it makes her eager to keep going. She tilts her body so her hips press into Troy and her shoulders back onto Abed. "Abed," she murmurs, "take your pants off."  
  
Abed shucks his pants in one fluid motion and returns to her, and Annie is consumed by skin, all around her, hot and alive and fresh.  
  
Troy and Abed must do their silent communication thing, because Annie is manhandled down to the floor, and Troy and Abed are leaning over her, looking hungry. A moment later, Abed is shifting down her torso and Troy is sucking marks into her neck.  
  
The first touch to her core sends Annie reeling. Abed doesn't wait, though, he just goes for it, all lips and tongue and fingers. It takes Annie almost a full minute to realize that high keening sound she's hearing is coming from her own mouth.  
  
Abed is, like, really, really good at oral, Annie discovers. Like, she's not clear on the specifics of what goes into making someone good or bad at sex, but Abed hitting all the check marks, here. He makes a frustrated noise and hooks one of her legs over his shoulder, and it gets even better, just like a wall of unrelenting sensation that has Annie spiraling higher and higher toward release. Abed slides two fingers into her, curls them up while he sucks hard on her clit, and she makes some kind of sound that she refuses to call a yowl, coming hard. It seems to last forever because he works her through it, pulling wave after wave out of her until she's a shivery mess.  
  
When she finally opens her eyes (she'd closed them?), Troy is kneeling by her head, cock pressed flat against his stomach, and Abed in palming himself lazily between Annie's knees. Annie's never dreamt of being a porn star before, but right about now she's thinking of a world of scenarios that only occur in front of cameras. Probably.  
  
Like how she would feel if Abed and Troy both jerked off— or jerked each other off, ooh— over her stomach so she was painted in their release, or if she could manage to suck them both, alternating every few strokes, just to watch their faces grow heady. Or maybe how she would feel if she let one of them take her from behind while the other plunged into her throat.  
  
She should write these down. She should definitely make some kind of list, or something, for the future. Yep.  
  
But with all of these torrid fantasies running through her mind, she can't pick one to settle on. How to pick the best candy in the biggest candy store of all time?  
  
Luckily, she doesn't have to. Abed sort of collapses over her hip and grasps Troy's thighs, sucking him down to the base. Troy makes a surprised, high-pitched noise that would be funny if it wasn't so understandable. Because fucking _whoa_ , though.  
  
"Abed," Annie says uncertainly, "when did you turn into a sex god?"  
  
Abed pulls off Troy (Troy groans the groan of a man who just lost his entire fortune to a bad poker match) and tilts his head, considering. "Probably when I discovered porn, freshman year. Kind of fell into it a lot, learned everything I could. Took me a few weeks to realize that's not how people typically act in sexual situations, though."  
  
Troy gasps. "Sarah."  
  
Abed nods, looking chagrined. "Sarah."  
  
"Who's Sarah?" Annie asks, shuffling up onto her elbows. The motion jiggles her breasts and both men become instantly distracted. She'd roll her eyes at them but, well, compliments are compliments. "Never mind. Go back to sexing."  
  
Abed gives her one of his little close-mouthed smiles and drops back onto Troy's dick without so much as a pause. It's actually incredible. Troy looks like he's having a mini-seizure, eyes stuck somewhere between half-mast and too wide. Barely a minute later, he grunts something and Abed bobs his head deep, holding himself steady while Troy jerks beneath him, coming. Annie clenches down on nothing, desperately wondering who Sarah is and how Annie can thank her for creating this veritable sex machine before her.  
  
"Teach me your ways, Zen Master," she breathes. Abed wipes at his lip and leans back, cock trailing a sticky line of precome on his stomach, and Annie only then remembers that he hasn't gotten a chance to come yet.  
  
"Alright," he says easily. "Now or later?"  
  
"Now," she says immediately. "Definitely now." She might not ever get up the courage to ask again.  
  
Abed looks thoughtful for a moment, then climbs up to sit at the edge of the bed. "This might be the easiest way to teach you. Come here." He opens his knees, totally unashamed, and his confidence pushes her to follow his command. She doesn't have a lot of experience looking at cocks, apart from her brief stint with that mannequin freshman year, but Abed's looks long and thin, like the rest of him. Annie kind of wants it all over her body. (Does that make her a slut? Psh, whatever, she's having sex with two guys at once; this little sidebar is _not_ the deciding factor in her level of sexuality.)  
  
Abed reaches for her hand and clasps it around his dick. "I'm assuming you've never done this before," he says conversationally, like he isn't jerking himself off with her hand. "First thing's first: no teeth, no actual blowing, no fingernails."  
  
"Duh," Annie says, even though she can't take her eyes off the way Abed is just sliding through her fingers, velvet soft and hot.  
  
"Okay, start with just the head," Abed instructs. Annie breathes once, gathering her confidence, and wraps her mouth around the head of his dick, rubbing her tongue over the surface of it. Abed hisses above her and clenches his hands into fists.  
  
"This is surreal," Troy says dazedly from behind them. Annie hears him moving around and assumes he's trying to get a better view. Hey, she can't blame him. She was all up in his blowjob's business, after all.  
  
"Now, suck a little," Abed says, tone mostly even, "and try moving down. Don't let yourself get uncomfortable, we can work on stamina later."  
  
Annie wants to crack some snide joke about how of course he'd be willing to work on that, when it's his dick getting pleasured, but she can't be bothered to voice it. Instead she sucks and lowers her head until he prods at the back of her throat. She inhales, calms herself, and then pushes a little more, just to see what she can do. Abed's thighs tremble when she swallows around him, so she pulls back, swipes her tongue over the head again, and ducks back down.  
  
"Oh my god, man," Troy murmurs, "how are you even sitting still right now?"  
  
Abed gives this little sigh-breath. "I spent years testing my own sexual limits. I didn't have friends until you guys, so I spent a lot of time alone in my room. I can handle a lot."  
  
That sounds like a challenge to Annie, so she stares up at him with her biggest doe eyes and drops as far as she can on his cock, working her tongue over every inch of skin as it slides past her lips. As she withdraws she sucks hard, letting her cheeks hollow.  
  
It has the desired result. Abed quakes, eyes clamping shut. "Annie," he says warningly. "Annie, if you do that again…."  
  
Annie pulls off him. "What, this?" And then she repeats the motion, using one hand to grasp at the skin she can't reach. Abed lets out a high keen, very similar to when he freaks out, and Annie feels the dick in her mouth start to pulse. She suckles at the head and lets his jizz pool on her tongue. It's weirdly not bad, bitter but satisfying, and she swallows it without a thought.  
  
"Jesus H. Christ," Troy whispers. "Man, I am going to Hell so hard, now, but what a way to go."  
  
Abed smiles at him, seeming more relaxed post-orgasm. "So a Muslim, a Jew, and a Jehovah's Witness all fall into bed together…"  
  
Annie couldn't have stopped her laughter if she tried. (She didn't.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I make no promises (because I break them every time) but I'm very much feeling a second installment in which Troy and Annie team up to get Abed to lose control. Like, I'm feeling it MUCHO. 
> 
> If you liked it, hated it, felt curiously ambivalent towards it, let me know in a comment!


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Annie and Troy plan to make Abed lose control.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a lot shorter than I thought it was, but I'm pretty happy with how it turned out.

"Hey Troy, can I talk to you for a second?" Annie says, pulling him aside after lunch.  
  
"Yeah, shoot," Troy replies, shifting his backpack strap over his shoulder.  
  
And that's how it begins.  
  


* * *

  
**1) Ears**  
  
Annie leans over the back of Abed's recliner. "Hey there, stud," she whispers hotly into his ear. Abed tilts his head a little to the side, angling up toward her. Annie grins and licks down the shell of cartilage, sucking the lobe between her lips and nibbling lightly. Abed's breath comes out shaky, and that's a good as a throaty moan, for him. Annie curls her hands over his shoulders, pressing down over his chest and then scratching her way back up. "What do you say we take this party somewhere more private?"  
  
It's not a direct line from anything, but it is an obvious character change, and Annie knows how much Abed enjoys that. She gets it: it's fun to step out of your own skin, every once in a while. It pulls you out of your mindset, lets you think like someone else for a little while. It's addicting in the best of ways.   
  
Abed pauses his show. "I say any offer by a sweet dame like you's a hard offer to resist. Popsicle stand like this, you're probably the best thing to come out of it. Where to?" He stands and shoves his hands into his pajama pockets, and the light green flannel is transformed into a slick black suit in front of her eyes.   
  
Annie smirks, and it's all edges. "I know a place."  
  
 **2) Spontaneity**  
  
Working around Abed's quirks is a process that took Annie and Troy months. Luckily for Annie, Troy had a significant headstart and was all-too-happy to fill her in on the more important ones. Don't make Abed feel inadequate, don't rearrange pubic spaces without telling Abed first, don't drop plans with Abed in the last minute, et cetera. Some of it's common sense, and some of it is tailored toward Abed's unique mental paradigm.   
  
The one thing they always forget, though, is that Abed can read people like books, and any attempt to trick him into something is probably going to backfire. Best case scenario, he follows through with it just to watch them, see how the plan was _supposed_ to go, were he a neurotypical person. Then he turns around and tells them about the observations he's made, and they feel like idiots for weeks. Worst case scenario, he calls them out on it and refuses to participate until he understands why they were trying to trick him in the first place. These conversations can take hours and usually end in them feeling like the shittiest people in the world. Most cases, though, Abed  will play along just enough to make it work, but then he'll subtly take over the situation until it's his rodeo, and they're tagging along for the ride.  
  
That's why Annie and Troy made sure that this plan would be layered just so, to seem open and obvious, but with a hidden bit of something tucked away, like one of those drawers with the false bottom. The plan is this: Annie seduces Abed, gets him in bed and excited, and then Troy walks in on them, acts surprised and ready to join, and they have mind-blowing three-way sex. Lift up the false bottom, though, and there's a nugget of extra labelled "Get Abed to Lose It."   
  
**3) Hands**  
  
Abed's hands are kind of magic. Minus the "kind of," and plus "hella." It's like that poem, Annie thinks: let me count the ways Abed's hands are amazing.  
  
His fingers are long, thin, and smooth, his knuckles delicate, his skin soft. His hands are just plain pretty. But there's also how he uses them, too: Abed spreads his fingers out when he's describing a scene, folds them closed when he's thinking, raises one when he's making an observation. His hands speak more than his face, usually. Annie can tell when he's nervous, or happy, or angry, or distraught, all by how much his hands squirm against each other.   
  
And then there's the _other_ way he uses his hands. The dirty way. Abed loves to use his fingers on Annie and Troy. He loves dancing his fingerprints down the slope of Annie's stomach and across Troy's chest. Sometimes he'll get them spread out just so, so he can work fingers inside of Annie with one hand and jack Troy off with the other. Which leads to the next bullet point,  
  
 **4) Pleasure**  
  
Annie can't say that sex with Abed is abnormal, because she really doesn't have much for comparison, and "abnormal" sounds so derogatory. Really, it's quite nice. It fits in with him, even: Abed's an observer, an outsider, a director. Even in sex.   
  
He likes giving pleasure to others more than getting it himself, to the point where he'll ignore his own erection for hours if it means orchestrating earth-shattering orgasms for his partners. That isn't to say he _minds_ getting touched during sex, not at all, but it's an afterthought to him, a sidebar.   
  
This was the hardest thing for Annie and Troy to plan. Troy wanted to worship Abed the way Abed so often worshipped them. Annie argued that Abed is still Abed, and changing the entire dynamic of their relationship for one night might do more harm than good. She felt that they needed to give Abed a sense of giving to others, of having a modicum of control over the situation, or the entire thing would collapse. They managed to compromise.  
  
That's why, when Annie leads Abed into her room and strips down, she pushes him down onto her bed and shoves one of his perfect hands between her legs. "Tell me sugar,” she drawls, still in character, “you know your way around one of these things, or am I gonna have to show you the ropes?"  
  
Abed's eyes light up and he flicks his thumb against her clit. "I think I'll figure it out."  
  
 **5) Talking/Praise**  
  
Abed, for all he's called a robot, really wants to make people happy. It's one of those revelations that built slowly in Annie, an epiphany that had sorted itself all out before it even struck her. He loves people, loves how they run like clockwork to him. He loves how easy it is to make people smile, and often goes out of his way to garner smiles from his friends. It could be weird, could be strange and alien to someone like Annie, but it isn't. It's beautiful.  
  
He's much the same in bed. He knows the mechanics of sex as well as anyone, but he likes it best when people talk to him, tell him precisely what they need from him. Annie used to think it was because he didn't understand people, but now she thinks it's a bit more than that.  
  
Like now, when she's settled onto his cock, getting used to the stretch of him, and he's relaxed, still, waiting. "God, Abed," Annie sighs, moving just to feel the press of him inside her, "you feel so good."  
  
Abed's hands spasm where they're resting on her thighs, and Annie hides a grin. Abed doesn't just like getting commands, he likes getting praised. It's filthy and hot and does all sorts of things to Annie to know that, secretly, all Abed wants is approval, and she can give that to him in spades.   
  
She lifts up and swirls her hips back down. "Abed," she moans, "touch me." His hands immediately shift over her skin, curling around her hips and up her sides. He cups her breasts for the barest of moments before pushing down her stomach. One hand finds its way to where they're joined, dances along the slick of her. Annie grins, all teeth, and brings his other hand up to her mouth, slides two fingers in and sucks hard. Abed gasps and his hips jerk.  
  
"Abed." Annie releases his hand and curls down so she can whisper into his ear. "Abed, I want you so much, all the time. I need you." Abed moans, and it's a tiny sound, but it's like a scream of ecstasy. Annie needs _him_. He's _needed_.  
  
Right on cue, Troy opens the door. "Hey, Anni-- oh."  
  
Annie and Abed freeze. "Troy," Abed says neutrally.  
  
Troy pulls off his shirt in one smooth motion. "Mind if I join?"  
  
Annie beams at him. "Not at all."  
  
It takes a few minutes to rearrange themselves. Annie slides off of Abed and the loss is almost painful. From the way his eyes follow her, Abed feels the same.   
  
Troy's been waiting for this, so he's already hard and ready. Annie shoots him a grin when Abed's not looking, and he winks at her. This may be her favorite plan ever.   
  
"Abed," she says, running a hard through his hair, "I want to see you fuck Troy."   
  
They haven't done that before, not yet, and Abed tenses. "Do you want that?" he asks Troy seriously.   
  
Troy wraps and hand around his dick and squeezes, like the thought drives him right to the brink. "Yeah."  
  
Abed sits up, never taking his eyes off Troy's. "We need lube."  
  
Annie shuffles over to her nightstand and pulls out the tube she keeps for Special Alone-Time Nights. She tosses it to Abed, who looks at her questioningly.  
  
Annie flushes and shrugs. "I used to, you know, need that. For, um, things. Before." God, she has sex with these people, this shouldn't be so embarrassing. Thank God she didn't have to pull out the pink vibrator she uses, too, or she'd be dead from shame right about now.  
  
Abed looks down at the bottle for a moment. "You used to," he murmurs down at the tube. "Here, while we. Oh." He swallows and his eyes lose focus.   
  
"Oh god, Annie," Troy whines, "you broke him."  
  
"Abed?" Annie asks, suddenly afraid. They planned this so carefully so he wouldn't get overwhelmed, and the one thing they didn't plan for is the one thing that broke him. She crawls over to him and rests a hand on the curve of his jaw. "Abed, sweetie?"  
  
Abed inhales loudly and his eyes clear. When he turns to face Annie, his gaze is stony with determination. "You'll never need to use this again," he says quietly. "I had no idea. I've missed so many orgasms with you."  
  
Annie isn't sure why, but that sounds like the most earnestly romantic thing she's ever heard in her life. "Okay," she breathes.  
  
"The same goes for you," Abed says, swinging his head around to face Troy, who seems as blindsided as Annie.  
  
"Okay, bud," he says faintly. "You got it."  
  
"Cool," Abed says easily. "Cool cool cool." He opens the bottle of lube and slicks up his fingers. "How do you want to do this?"  
  
Troy exhales. He and Annie planned this, too. Annie shuffles out of the way as he swings one leg over Abed's hips. "Like this."  
  
Abed's eyes darken and he reaches up to kiss Troy. Troy leans into it and rests his hands around Abed's neck, thumbs brushing his jaw. He's gentle like that. Troy gasps and breaks away, and only then does Annie realize that Abed has already slicked his fingers up, and is now pressing one to Troy's entrance. Annie presses her thighs together and resolves to wait before touching herself. She wants to remember this as clearly as she can.  
  
She doesn't lean in to watch where Abed's stretching Troy, though she does consider it. It feels private, like something that's meant for just them, and Annie's happy to watch the different expression flit across Troy's face. He's so expressive that she can pinpoint exactly when Abed adds fingers, or when he does something that feels good. It's all there in the wrinkle of Troy's brow, in the curl of his lips.  
  
Eventually he grows impatient and wriggles on Abed's lap. "Abed," he says roughly, "I'm ready."  
  
The room stills for a moment as they all swallow. Then Abed pulls out his fingers and squeezes out more lube to slick his cock. Annie watches their faces, watches the discomfort and impatience on Troy's as he slides down, and the drugged pleasure on Abed's as he's consumed by Troy.   
  
"Wow," Troy puffs when he's finally pressed against Abed. "Ow."  
  
Abed's face immediately morphs to that of concern. "Are you in pain? We can stop."  
  
"No," Troy says, shaking his head. "Just give me a moment. Talk to Annie."  
  
Abed starts like he forgot she was there. "Right."  
  
"It's okay, Abed," Annie says, hiding her smile. "I'd have forgotten about me, too."  
  
"How are you?" he asks, and it's so commonplace, like asking about the weather, that she laughs.   
  
"I'm okay," she says conversationally. She flips her hair over her shoulder. "A little damp, perhaps."  
  
The truth is she's so wet she can feel the cool of the air on her thighs. She's never been more turned on.  
  
"Well, I know a way to fix that," Abed says coolly, lying so he's flat on the bed. "Hop on up."  
  
Annie freezes and her eyes go wide as saucers. She shoots Troy a look, and he's frozen, too. "You… what?" she asks weakly.   
  
Abed raises an eyebrow. "Do I need to repeat myself?"  
  
Oh, he's using Han Solo on her, now, the dirty bastard. He knows her weakness for Han Solo. She crawls forward, feeling a pit of nerves in her stomach. They've never done this before, either, and it's not in the plan she made with Troy, but she can't really say no, can she? Before she knows it, Annie is straddling Abed's shoulders, and his eyes have gone completely black.   
  
"You're sure?"  
  
Abed quirks his lips at her, and that all the warning she get before his hands cup her ass and shove her forward. He licks at her like a man starved, and Annie cries out in shock.   
  
"Dear God," Troy breathes reverently from behind her. "This is heaven."  
  
Then Abed stills, hands gripping at her tightly, and Annie can only assume Troy's finally started moving. It takes a few seconds for Troy to find a rhythm, and a few seconds more for Abed to get back to the task of eating Annie out. She can feel the motion of the bed, how it rocks her into Abed, and it becomes clear to her that this is, in fact, better than their plan. This is better than anything Annie could have planned, ever.  
  
"Abed," she sighs, "you're amazing."  
  
His eyes blink open from under her and she looks down her body at him, and it's like something just clicks. His eyes warm and he sucks hard at her clit. Annie nearly screams and falls off him.  
  
"Make me feel so good," Troy groans from behind her, and Annie wishes she could watch him, bets he's beautiful like this. "Best thing that's ever happened to me."  
  
Abed breaks away from Annie to moan, loud and unlike anything Annie's heard from him before. "Troy," he hisses. "Annie."  
  
Annie, in a moment of uncharacteristic aggression, thrusts so her clit drags along Abed's jaw. "Please, need you so bad."  
  
Annie can't really describe what happens next, but it feels like Abed grows another tongue, the way he works her over. He's every where at once, licking at her clit then shoving his tongue inside her entrance then sucking at her so hard she sees stars. Her orgasm rushes forward and she grabs at his hair for something to hold onto. "Abed, look at me." He opens his eyes and stares up at her, overwhelmed and lust-ridden and the most unguarded she's ever seen him, and she comes, screaming his name. Her vision whites out and, distantly, she feels Abed slide a finger into her at the same time as Troy shouts his release. Annie whimpers as that triggers another orgasm out of her, like that's even something _possible_.  
  
Abed shivers, shudders until Annie's back into herself and can feel him moving. He pulls his fingers out of her and wraps his arms around her thighs, arching up and tilting his face back. He releases a broken, helpless, perfect noise and jerks under her, and Annie realizes this is it, this is his moment. She smoothes her hands over his forearms, where they're banded tight over her legs, and watches Abed finally, completely _release_.  
  
 **6) Television**  
  
It takes Abed almost a full minute to release Annie's legs, and another ten seconds or so before he blinks himself back to consciousness. Annie pulls off him and sits by his head, torn between blissful satisfaction and anxiety. They hadn't really, truly broken him, this time, had they?  
  
Troy comes to sit next to her. "Is he okay?" he whispers.  
  
"I don't know," she replies, worrying her bottom lip.  
  
Abed lolls his head to the side to look at them. "You've broken me." Annie heaves a relieved sigh and laughs. If he's speaking, he's not really broken.  
  
"Seriously,” Abed continues sluggishly. “I can't think of a single pop culture reference right now. It's all like _kapshhh_." He fans his fingers around his head like it's exploding.   
  
"That's a good thing,” Troy checks, grinning.  
  
Abed gives a large breath and pats at his stomach. "Yep," he says. "Best thing. Can we cuddle?"  
  
Annie smiles at Troy, and he beams back. "Yeah, buddy," he says, "we can do that."  
  
They pull Abed up the bed and curl around him, like they do every night they sleep together. Annie closes her eyes and listens to Abed's steady heartbeat, and it soothes her to sleep.  
  
 **7) Them**  
  
Annie wakes to see Abed watching her with his blank, inscrutable stare. "Hey."  
  
"You planned that," he says, and his voice is back to normal. "You planned all of that. You and Troy."  
  
Troy's still asleep on Abed's other side. Annie bites her lip and gives Abed her best doe eyes. "Are you mad at us?"  
  
Abed tilts his head against the pillow. "No," he decides. "Not mad. Confused. Why did you do it?"  
  
Annie shifts her gaze to Abed's chest. "You deserved it," she says shyly. "To feel truly happy, once."  
  
"But I am happy," he says. "I'm the happiest I've ever been."  
  
"Not like that," Annie says, even though her face splits into a wide smile. "I mean, like, a moment of pure happiness, of total abandon. Like Angel and Buffy."  
  
"Why?" Abed gives her his "Is This A Social Cue I'm Missing?" face, and Annie rolls her eyes.  
  
"Because we love you," she says. She's never said it before, none of them have, but it feels right after a night of so many firsts. "We love you and you deserved it."  
  
"People think I can't love," Abed says thoughtfully. "All my life I've been compared to robots and aliens and computers. Things that don't feel. I thought for a long time that they were right. I don't connect to day-to-day emotions, so I can't feel the big ones, either. But that's wrong. You and Troy make me feel… human. I don't need TV to understand you, but you don't mind if I use it, anyway. I think I love you, too."  
  
Annie feels like her chest is full to bursting. "Well, good, then," she mumbles, for lack of anything else to say.  
  
Abed gives her a small, private smile. "Troy's gonna be really upset that he missed this."  
  
Annie pokes at Troy until he opens one bleary eye. "We all love each other," she tells him.  
  
"Yeah, okay, cool," he mutters, closing his eyes. "Love you too."  
  
"There," she says with a satisfied smirk, “now he didn't miss it."  
  
"Cool," Abed replies, tightening his arm around Annie and closing his eyes. "Cool cool cool."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to leave me a comment! *shamelessly wriggles body in hope that errant comments will fly her way* They're kinda my fave.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!


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